The Spirit of Seventy Sex

The movie Godfrey and I dreamt up in April 1976, shot in May, and barely made a July Fourth opening at the Pussycat Theaters in L.A. and Anaheim, California. A script I banged out in one week and then informed Godfrey that there'd be zero dollars for production if he didn't cast Annette Haven as the lead. Godfrey knew that I was head over heels for Annette, and the great partner he was, saw that "Mr. Happy," (my Hebrew National Salami), got to play a starring role opposite her. Not that any of my family members would ever see it that way, but for Happy and me, a star-spangled day in my life as a pornographer.

The script was total "tongue in cheek." But as I never contemplated entering a "Shakespeare contest," I merely wrote what turned me on. I've written some sex scenes that left my audience yawning, those that reside on my wall of shame, and many others that gave my audience a raging woody. With "Spirit," the sex was clearly "woody material."

The film stars John C. Holmes ("Mr. 13 inches") as Captain John Smith, and although a horrendous actor, he never failed to distract people by waving his lethal appendage in front of the camera. Tyler Reynolds was cast as George Washington, forsaking his day job as a stand-up comic. To add a bit of comedy to an otherwise "serious" production, and being 1976, Washington delivered his dialogue in the voice of Richard Nixon. John Seeman was cast as Ben Franklin, flying his kite in a horse corral. Lightning struck, and electricity ran down the wire and ignited the wooden vibrator he was holding. (Incidentally, a little known fact; Ben went on to patent his device, and as it's now known, "The Revolutionary Rabbit."). I'm giving Ben more ink than he deserves, but he presented his rabbit to an ingenue, who immediately buried it in her vajayjay. But the piece-de-resistance was when our little waif began to suck on Ben's cock. Her performance was so awe-inspiring that she was unanimously elected into the 1977 "Blowjob Hall of Fame."

Annette Haven, Abigail Clayton, and Angela Haze rounded out the cast. In my estimation, Abbie and Angela were good yet only rated a 3.5 out of 5 on the Sausage Meter. But here comes Annette Haven. A lady who fucked like Bugs Bunny's twin sister, had world-class breasts, and a matching ass. And to get an extra sex scene from Annette, she was cast in the dual roles of Martha Washington and Betsy Ross.

Godfrey and I had shot Annette the year before in the role of a sex therapist in "Teenage Sex Therapy" (another one of my "age-inappropriate" scripts.) When I saw her on the "TST" set, I knew it would only be a matter of time before I was destined to wrap my legs around Annette's "naughty little girl" persona.

Distraction over; back to "Spirit." Tyler was screwing Annette doggy style in his role as George Washington and I was no more than six feet from the action. I couldn't help but be mesmerized by Annette's body rolling to the rhythm of Tyler's penetration and the sweet, pungent smell of her pussy. Possessed, I begged Godfrey to dump Tyler and allow me to further my career as a "stunt-cock." Godfrey was happy to oblige, and to the cheering of our crew, I devoured Annette Haven. If you rent the movie on DVD, look for the scene and you'll be "treated" (maybe the wrong word?) to the classic definition of a raging hard-on. I wasn't about to show more of myself than necessary; nevertheless, I doubt you'll be disappointed by my performance.

Annette and I got together several times after “Spirit.” On each occasion, Annette Haven pleaded with me to play the "Father of Our Country," and I don't know how my readers will respond, but I never said "no."